seaport

Donkey Princess (after shelley jackson)

2:33

a chorus line of ashen moths are making lace out of my insides. i dont know if my arms are steeled enough to support my head if i have to hang it again.

turn flag sideways. triangle-d tears.

Speaking w/o words

over and over. curvature of the sky. ocean air. soul settling.

i could drown in this deliciousness

for reals.

DustyWebs

Cleaning house on my website: (nicolesfernandez.com). Writings, process material, and sources will be posted here in the future.

ars moriendi (febuary 28 2008)

(north) (holy dying)
the sensible gentry dreamed in off-white white
cutting edge contemporary colonization
clustering in faraway idols with business-as-usual successes
(bridal ants and owls)
humanly all knowing as past the i can see

more flight or fight
less fight (and) or fuck

"i love NY.NY"



(south)( holy living)
unstabling the hot carribbean roots
in laughing and crying simultaneously
salt rivers and turquiose arm badges
NEVER cut your m(v)a(i)ne
(birds,drag celebration)



the art critic said it was basic mesages
smash and grab

turn your insides inside
wear a bigger coat


...........................................................................................................<3......

new years dream (january 1 2008)

dock at night, simple light, deep blue shadows running across your face. like nights in sarasota where everything is quiet and takes on the profane. the way you look up and sigh, the twisting of the ring on your finger, looking up at the moon.

the dock breaks.
you fall under the waves.
i am alone
holding out my hand...

you become visible
the water glittering moves around to the sides of your body
as if you are being reborn.

i am still palms out.

i wake up.

some stories have no ending.
dreaming of oceans miles away from red brick queens.
i am excited for 2008 and the leaving behind the tears of may with the memory of violet perfume.

may you still be able to cry at beauty.
may you be able to feel safety.
may you see the places in your dreams.

love from my ribcage seeping out with energy

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------<3------

12-1-03 (december 3 2008)

brides of christ.virgin clowns.crooked beehives.indigo children.see you in heaven.
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::<3::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

sensory 1 (july 19, 2007)

Ft.Lauderdale
..violetas- cuban baby cologne
..vanilla fields- turning fifteen, silly love letters soaked in it
..victorias secrect 'pear glace'- first signature scent, everglades parties, visiting
p.l. at covenent house homeless shelters
..dior "hypnotic poison"- high school punk show,clove cigarettes,s.g. backseat full of
mtn dew bottles and rain puddles, wet beach hair, or what wasn't shaved off,
tabitha
Sarasota
..patchouli mix by rasta-freshman dorm, dreadlocks, AH, boy with einstein
hair who used to visit me and my pet frog, sid vicious
..nag champa- always for house or room
..dior "addict"- dark drunk nights in chicago, j.l. throwing up in the toliet, me in a
trash can, overwheming stillness in heart, meloncholly over knowing
everything was ending weirdly
NYC
..chanel "chance"- laguradia airport, nyc to fla, chelsea dorm,color pink,e.wears this
use as sheet spray
..ysl "babydoll"- fla break(??????)
..cacharel 'amor amor'- c.c.g. in st.pete, some gay club cc talking about a go-go
dancer who also coached softball (?????)
..demeter 'holy water'- day, grad school
..sandalwood oil,lotion- 2nd year grad school, dharma punx period, t.s. stole it from
whole foods
..prada 'prada'- family coming to thesis show, crying bc brother surprised me, still
wear on special occasions, Lower east side,saki bars,that bar that looks
like a trailer inside
..lancome 'hyponose'
..jo malone 'blue agave and cacao'-currently, cabs to niagra, cloister cafe
...lilacs- spring
..aveda 'shampure' and #9 - currently with black everyday
...sage,super hit, nagchampa- astoria house